Things I am Learning Since Our Move

The other night Rich and I were sitting at a restaurant we had not yet visited since our very first week in our new city.  Just sitting in this familiar seat immediately brought to mind all the scary emotions I felt that first week in our new home.  I had spent most of that week at the house unpacking boxes, trying to find the closest Target and Grocery Store and counting down the seconds until Rich got home each day.  Since I was not working and did not know a soul in town, Rich was my only social interaction for a few weeks.  I was lonely, sad, and could not find the majority of my belongings because they were packed away in 283 boxes around our house (and yes, that is the number of boxes and extra items that the movers unloaded.) 

But, the other night, eating dinner, back at the same place we had been not a month a half ago, I marveled at just how far we'd come.  We were catching a quick dinner before an event at church where we would see familiar faces and be in a familiar space to us.  We had an event on our calendar, we have started to have routine events on our calendar during the week.  The night before Rich had gone to a meet up of folks interested in one of his hobbies, in a neighboring city.  Suddenly, without us realizing it, this newness was starting to feel like home, like routine.  Something I longed for so much the last time we sat in this same spot.  So, today, I am celebrating, but also sharing moving tips for those (like me) who may desperately crave familiarity, connection, and comfort in new places.

1)  Understanding You are the "New One":  Undoubtedly this is the hardest one for me.  Even though I am an extrovert and love to meet people, I hate being the new one.  I want familiarity. I want friends and I want people to know me, quickly.  But, this is not realistic.  Going into conversations or events knowing I was the new one was scary, but overtime I have gotten used to introducing myself, sharing our story, and finding connection. After all, sometimes the person on the other end is dying to meet a new face.  

2)  Don't be Scared to Commit: I think the biggest blessing is the commitments we've made with some groups we've joined and our commitment to each other to staying committed to going.  Commitment means not giving up when we just aren't feeling it that week, commitment shows up when we know we can count on seeing those familiar faces waiting if we keep going back each week, commitment says, even if this sorta is difficult, we are going to keep going, so that is can soon feel easy and familiar.  Rich and I have both held each other to this in these three months here and the benefit is showing itself.

3) Drive Right In: Join a gym, join a church, find a neighbor to connect with, join a sports club, play pick up basketball, but don't wait! The sooner you start to find opportunities, the more opportunities will present themselves.  We've certainly see our blessings and opportunities expand each time we say "yes" to a new opportunity.  

"The Pictures are Pretty but the Struggle is Real"

Ready for an article that's going to shake up your world? 


Thanks to the internet I stumbled upon my newest favorite article for this season of my life and I can't help but feel like it took my breath away.  You can read about it here: This is Real but I can take a wild bet and say you know exactly what it feels like to wonder if everyone else has figured it all out and has pretty little lives and you are the only one stuck in the rut of living this crazy life that has its pits and valleys. 

It's no shocker to anyone who knows me that the last month or so has been a bit of a valley.  Preparing for a move, leaving our friends, leaving a job I love, unemployment lurking, closing a house with way too many snafus, leaving a community.  It hit me this year.  In a world of pretty instagram pictures and facebook posts, there was a lot of bleh that was underneath a lot of my pretty images of happiness.  And I am ready for 2016 to usher those away! 

Many folks have mentioned to me how nice it was that we were given 4 months to plan for this move.  In more than enough ways they are right.  We were able to find a house, start looking for jobs, eat out at all our favorites places, enjoy this city that we love.  And we did that, it is actually what inspired this little blog hole of ours.  I wanted to document all the pretty pictures of this time, in this city, in this stage. But another challenge with having 4 months to prepare to leave, is there is this weird feeling of emotional and physical distance you begin to create.   You can't really advance much in your work place because you are leaving, you struggle to dig deeper with friends because you know its sorta weirdly temporary.  I struggled in how to get involved in the community, I had to turn down opportunities I may have jumped at if I knew we'd be here longer.  It was really....weird. 

But meanwhile, admist the muck of coming and going I had been dealing with the "stuff" of this move, and for the purposes of this post, I will call it what it is: sadness.  Here is a little bit of what I mean when I give you some contexts of these photos:

What You Saw: I had the chance to teach my middle neice a tennis lesson-a dream come true!  She did really great for a beginner and we had a really fun time together.

What I didn't share: When we got back to the house, she asked me if I could come back on the weekend and do it again.  SOUL CRUSHED.  Moments like that make me realize how sad it is that we are so far from our family, and likely will be until our time in the military is over.  It's tough not having any control of the when and where's of our careers and thus our life.  By the time we are able to move back home, this little gal will be 15.  I am going to guess she won't want me to play tennis with her much anymore. 

What You Saw:  Here is our crazy rush to get everything organized as we leave.  It was REALLY productive.

What I Didn't Share: This was our last Saturday in the city.  We spent it packing up..and that was really sad and totally contrary to what I wanted this blog to be about: living up our last months here. 

What You Saw:  A funny story about Ellie saying "I made my family disappear"

What I Didn't Share: I couldn't bare to take our crappy 13 dollar Target tree down.  It is a fake tree...we've never had fake trees, but this first Christmas, it was the only option if we wanted to celebrate.  This picture makes me sad!


So there is my#thisisREAL.  I am SO looking forward to replacing some sad memories with photos of our new house (closing TODAY!!!!)

Owning our low key low country last days

Well, I am just going to quickly #ownit.  We did not have the most glamorous weekend, but I guess you can only expect so much from a weekend when you have SO much going on and so little time to do it.  I absolutely under estimated how much we had to do to get ready for the packers to come today and pack up our stuff.  Preparing for so much at once as left me wondering exactly what we forgot to do or what we forgot to pack. So, that being said, it wasn't a glamorous last weekend in our lovely low country, but we got the job done and we are closer to making this next step happen and being...HOMEOWNERS.

Here is a quick recap:

FRIDAY:  We had a lot of things to settle up on base and thankfully we got it done without much issue (as far as we know).  It also gave me a chance to say goodbye to C-17s!

SATURDAY: We ate at our favorite Mt Pleasant pizza joint Steel City.  We are SO going to miss this place and even though there are so many good pizza places we've found in Charleston, this one is pretty fantastic for us and was in our backyard for a few years.

Our awesome wedding photographer sent us this ornament for our tree. Even better, it arrived just 24 hours shy of our 6 months anniversary.  How it has been six months...I have no clue!

SUNDAY: With the exception of a quick church service and driving around looking at the luminaries, our Sunday looked exactly like this...all day....long!  Did I mention we have a LOT to do this week?!

Keeping it REAL (or fake)!

Life is teaching me a lot about expectations in the year of 2015.  I am learning I am a bit of the expectation queen, even when I don't realize I am!  I thought I was pretty low key about most things, but as it turns out, I have these lovely latent expectations and they sure are getting challenged.

Oh you think you are getting settled do you? Move to Virginia expectantly.

Oh you think you will have a holiday that looks just like what your head thinks it should look like?  Move to Virginia during the holidays.

Oh, you think the house hunt will be easy?  You have old pipes and a way too old roof!

Oh you love your job?  Time to find a new one!

All kidding aside, what a learning lesson the last few months have been on grace and just going with the flow!  That being said, we have done something I never expected: we now own a fake tree.  With the thought of moving and celebrating Christmas, I wasn't sure if we'd be getting a tree at all, so against my common sense judgement I jumped at the chance to buy this fake tree from Target and get it assembled in our house for the last few days of our tenancy.  We will transplant it from this living room to the one in Virginia. It may be the only piece of "furniture" we have in that new house for a few days.   But, it will be beautiful and blessed. And we will truly FAKE it till we make it. 

So there you have it, this is how we will trim the tree and our house in the last few days we have in Charleston, grace-filled.

Some realities we must face

Truth be told, I was dreading writing this blog post.  If I write, it means its true.  If I tell people, it means its happening.  And if I hop on Trulia/Zillow/Hotpads/Craigslist/tell our landlord...it means there is no going back.  So it's time to face the reality that I must face, and I will begin here.  We are moving.  


In a seemingly cruel scene of twisted irony, the very moments we are settling (nicely) into our rental townhome, making more friends, finding our niche,  carving our Charleston routine, planted a garden for goodness sake, we have been uprooted.  One simple email can change our reality, causing us to face new, harsh, scary, dare I say exciting realities.  And I cried.  A lot.  

But this is the reality of being a newly minted military wife, who, let's be honest, was a bit naive to how much it would hurt when that email finally arrives.  That unexpected email that you always tell yourself may arrive, yet you harbor hope that it could be years, many years, before it arrives.  

But with the grief and sadness of leaving a job, friends, palm trees, and seasides behind comes hope.  Hope that this new opportunity for R will bring about fulfillment, career potential, exciting times for our new family, and three years of location certainty.  So make the best of it we will. Together. 

So forgive me if I seem a bit nostalgic to this city I have made my heart-home as we begin to say goodbye.  I hope it never leaves me.  I want to soak up these last 4 months we have here with all I know.  

Weekend in Review

What a week capped off by a fantastic weekend!  We are soaking up the last moments of Charleston's beautiful summers and taking in all that this city has to offer in summer. It is truly when the city comes alive with activity and fun and when you can muddle through the tourists a bit, you'll find how magical low country summers are.  I heard all about the humidity and heat when I first moved down to Charleston and y'all, they weren't lying.  But, despite that, it is still my favorite place to be hot and gross all summer long. 

My might fine man surprised me with all my favorites when I got home from a rough week on Friday night.  And yes folks, that is a Red Velvet cupcake and flowers from Whole Foods.  Because, if you are going to eat calories galore, let's make sure they are coming from Whole Foods, am I right?

I am not sure this sums up our marriage any better: Saturday morning watching Caesar Milan work magic on some sweet baby dogs.  

 Those last moments of a Charleston summer spent on Sullivan's Island.  The crowds has dissipated a bit before school starts and hello #taxfreeweekend, so we had some peace and quiet, and a ton of horseflies annoying us.  Our beach visit was cut short as a result. 

We checked yet another place off our Charleston Foodie Bucket List on Saturday after the beach.  What more can you say about Obstinate Daughter's decor than this photo? 

I got the shrimp roll which was a slight take on a lobster roll and pretty delicious.  

After volunteering at the Charleston Animal Society for a bit, we had a crew of friends over to entertain Ellie spend some porch time together before the Hootie and the Blowfish Concert.

Sunday was spent catching up on life and hanging with my number one and two girls while Rich was back home for his mom's birthday.  How am I supposed to get anything done with a golden floor mat?

When I couldn't take anymore of the #velcroGolden, I took her over to the local dog park for some running and a general release of her wiggles.  She's my girl and I love how she loves me.  

That's it folks!  A taste of our weekend as healing and therapeutic as it was for us me.   Time to soak up all that we have left of this summertime.