Thanks to the internet I stumbled upon my newest favorite article for this season of my life and I can't help but feel like it took my breath away. You can read about it here: This is Real but I can take a wild bet and say you know exactly what it feels like to wonder if everyone else has figured it all out and has pretty little lives and you are the only one stuck in the rut of living this crazy life that has its pits and valleys.
It's no shocker to anyone who knows me that the last month or so has been a bit of a valley. Preparing for a move, leaving our friends, leaving a job I love, unemployment lurking, closing a house with way too many snafus, leaving a community. It hit me this year. In a world of pretty instagram pictures and facebook posts, there was a lot of bleh that was underneath a lot of my pretty images of happiness. And I am ready for 2016 to usher those away!
Many folks have mentioned to me how nice it was that we were given 4 months to plan for this move. In more than enough ways they are right. We were able to find a house, start looking for jobs, eat out at all our favorites places, enjoy this city that we love. And we did that, it is actually what inspired this little blog hole of ours. I wanted to document all the pretty pictures of this time, in this city, in this stage. But another challenge with having 4 months to prepare to leave, is there is this weird feeling of emotional and physical distance you begin to create. You can't really advance much in your work place because you are leaving, you struggle to dig deeper with friends because you know its sorta weirdly temporary. I struggled in how to get involved in the community, I had to turn down opportunities I may have jumped at if I knew we'd be here longer. It was really....weird.
But meanwhile, admist the muck of coming and going I had been dealing with the "stuff" of this move, and for the purposes of this post, I will call it what it is: sadness. Here is a little bit of what I mean when I give you some contexts of these photos:
What You Saw: I had the chance to teach my middle neice a tennis lesson-a dream come true! She did really great for a beginner and we had a really fun time together.
What I didn't share: When we got back to the house, she asked me if I could come back on the weekend and do it again. SOUL CRUSHED. Moments like that make me realize how sad it is that we are so far from our family, and likely will be until our time in the military is over. It's tough not having any control of the when and where's of our careers and thus our life. By the time we are able to move back home, this little gal will be 15. I am going to guess she won't want me to play tennis with her much anymore.
What You Saw: Here is our crazy rush to get everything organized as we leave. It was REALLY productive.
What I Didn't Share: This was our last Saturday in the city. We spent it packing up..and that was really sad and totally contrary to what I wanted this blog to be about: living up our last months here.
What You Saw: A funny story about Ellie saying "I made my family disappear"
What I Didn't Share: I couldn't bare to take our crappy 13 dollar Target tree down. It is a fake tree...we've never had fake trees, but this first Christmas, it was the only option if we wanted to celebrate. This picture makes me sad!
So there is my#thisisREAL. I am SO looking forward to replacing some sad memories with photos of our new house (closing TODAY!!!!)
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