I Quit: On Giving Up and Gaining Margin

Image: Naptime Diaries

I feel a lot of different very personal reasons for writing this blog post.  Many of them originate from years of trying to reach a certain level of perfection, my own insecruities, or the burning desire all women seem to have to maintain the illision of being able to do it all.

My small group and I just completed a life alterting 6 week series on The Best Yes.  I've spent much of the last few months marinating, praying, struggling, and worrying what this means for my life.  I've always loved being busy and overwhlemed.  I've worked jobs that make sure my work responbilities bleed well past 5pm and I always find a way to fill my calendar up and leave no margin for much else.  The free seconds I do have I find myself wasting away on my iphone or endless, fruitless internet scrolling that leads my overwhelmed soul to no relief. 

I've pinterested to my hearts content worrying about our new house and making it fit all the ideals I have in my head.  I've dreamt about what our first married Christmas would look like only to come to the realization with this move it won't look a thing like that (and that's ok).  Of the crime of too high expectations for certain superficial areas of my life, I am guilty as charged.

But I am taking myself out of the running.  I quit.

This quitting will be the biggest gift I can give myself.  I quit trying to make it perfect, or beautiful, or yummy, or measure up to someone else.  I quit worrying myself over things that don't matter.

I am taking myself out of the running.  I'm going to let someone else run the race of perfection, as fleeting and impossible at this race is.  No one has won yet as far as I am concerned and I am not going to bear myself the burden of trying to win anymore. 


This Novemeber and Thanksgiving season, I've very intentionally tried to make room for peace, leave margin for retreat and reflection.  At night we've been sharing the things of which we are thankful for this year, the Lord knows my heart, there are an abundance of blessings given to us in 2015.  One of my biggest blessings is giving up.